What makes a positive, healthy and successful relationship? There are plenty of things that are certainly unhealthy. The biggest challenge most of us face is there is no guide to this shit when we become adults. For the most part our parents avoid topics entirely or represent unhealthy relationships themselves, with over 50% of married couples divorcing in the Western world.
There are three parts, a holy trinity if you like, of a relationship match that define success. Emotional, intellectual and physical compatibility. Think of this as a checklist if you like, something to refer to when considering a relationship.
This is probably the most complex yet simple of the three. Are you on the same page and willing to commit to the same level? Is he a fuck boy playing or is she a gold digger looking for the bigger better deal? Then they most likely aren’t an emotional match if you are really looking for a partner in life.
Maturity levels factor heavily in considering emotional compatibility. You have to acknowledge if someone is at the same level as you and not hope for them or expect them to change. That is a key failure point for most people in assessing emotional compatibility. In a lot of cases we feel we can change a partner. Not only is this selfish on your behalf but it is a foolish expectation. Don’t be stupid.
As much as it is lame to use this in rational analysis, but are you in love rather than just loving the person? This is an important distinction that will be discussed at length in another article.
Compatibility in the intellectual sense is hard to define as it encompasses many factors. It is both your matching ambitions in life and general interests. If you find it hard to enjoy each other’s interests, it will be difficult to enjoy shared activities. Although this isn’t the case for all couples, it would be for the majority.
Consider this. You want to go to an art gallery/ sports match/ movie/ bar to grab a drink with friends. Your partner doesn’t want to because it isn’t their thing. Now of course you don’t have to do everything together but your partner should be the person you want to spend most your time with, otherwise what is the point? Maybe they will make an occasional exception to not wanting to, but if they really aren’t interested in anything you are whatsoever how long before you are spending barely any time together? You will get bored.
It is important that you find someone that is accepting of your interests and/ or willing to try and learn new things. People that aren’t are self-absorbed arseholes for the most part would be willing to.
Let’s finish with the fun part which is usually first stop for many couples. It is not only defined by sexual compatibility, although this is a large part of it. When we first meet a potential partner, it will usually result in sex after the first few meetings. The excitement of first time we rub our bits together aside, there are indicators as to whether you match sexually.
First and foremost, was it exceptionally good sex? Did you both finish thoroughly satisfied or were they a selfish fucker? It is important to note this early on, as although we do learn about a partner’s wants and needs the early stages really set the tempo for further bit rubbing shenanigans. If they aren’t willing or able to make you orgasm hard and repeatedly then why would you bother?
There is an exceptional case that is worthy of note that is primarily relating to women. You may find a penis soulmate. A man who has a penis shaped in a particular way that makes you explode every time it is in you. Although this seems to be rare it is definitely a reality and if you find it good on you! However, do not let the dick blind you to other considerations in the holy trinity. Don’t make compromises for a magical dick.
This model and considerations are in short but are there to give you an idea and framework to analyse and assess the potential for success in a relationship. Sure, you can lie to yourself that you are happy and successful without compatibility in these areas, after all the human power of self-delusion is second to none. If you want to empower yourself in your relationship, then this is where you have to start.